Mockup: New Configuration

Inspiration from the Stage

This past Friday, I had the privilege of traveling to Chicago with Notre Dame's Multicultural Programs and Services to watch a production of Hamilton. People rave about this show for many reasons, but some particularly striking elements for me were the representation of time throughout the show, the carefully choreographed dance and theatrical group movement, and the use of lighting.

One moment in particular that stood out to me was when Hamilton sang the song Hurricane. Echoing the lyrics, the lighting on the stage was dark and turbulent, but he stood in a tiny golden spotlight at the center---the eye of the storm. Watching this, I had the thought, "They are visually projecting Hamilton's emotional state around him through the use of dramatic lighting." I noticed similar strategies in other scenes, and I found their impact stunning.

Where this insight is useful in regard to my project is that I am trying to work through how to depict thoughts and feelings outside of the body, going beyond the limitations of facial expression and body language.

Thesis Presentation to Faculty: Reflection

Last Friday, I presented my thesis direction to the art and design faculty. Overall, I thought things went reasonably well, and I was informed later that day that I had passed, receiving the Grief award for materials in the amount of $600. 

I received very positive reactions to the use of three-dimensional elements in my work, and found the feedback on that front encouraging.

In a few other areas, I received some critiques that may require rethinking and reworking how I will present my idea. One of the objections to my current mockup was in regard to my use of classical figures alongside my abstractions. My reasoning for including a more realized figure at all is that I want the viewer to be able to recognize a figure in the work as having agency; I want that figure to be the one doing the reflecting, not the viewer herself. This is important to me because I think that if the viewer were supposed to extrapolate that they were looking into themselves, I think there would be too much ambiguity for me to make a clear statement. Another point that was made was that my use of specifically male and female gendered bodies could be problematic. I can see why they say that, but I am concerned people will interpret my work as being "about women" and possibly miss the point. The question then, is what can I do with my representation of bodies to make the read clear and to best represent my intentions?

Video Mockup: Updated

Installation Sketch & Video Mockup

3 Sections - Self Reflection on edges - Interaction in center

Mockup: Reactions

So, the good news is, people are reacting really well to my project! I put up my mockup in the hallway. Some reactions have included the following:

• "I want to hang this in my house when I can afford to have actual art." -Student
• "I like what you've got going on. Do more." -Professor
• "It's really beautiful" -Student
• "She seems vulnerable." -Student
• Slight Discomfort
• Interest/Curiosity

Those are just a few things that people said to me while I was working. What I was really happy to see was that I seemed to be successful in creating a visual experience that was both visually appealing and a little off-putting in the details. People seemed to want to spend time examining the different pieces, and I think that was definitely due in large part to the warm/vibrant aesthetic, interest created through 3D elements, and the reflective surfaces.

Installation Layout Idea

Presentation Preparation: Mockup

1). This painting was completed to this point in only one day.

2). The next steps will include working in the paint creatures, adding background elements, and expanding beyond the picture plane.

THESIS STATEMENT: ROUND ONE

I am currently in the process of revising my thesis statement because my reading and thinking over Fall Break has (again) helped to make my direction more clear, resulting in some changes. However, below I have included the first draft of my artist statement in order to document my process.

Beyond Vulnerable

To be vulnerable is essentially to be at risk, to be somehow susceptible to physical or emotional harm or ill will. 

What if we could step easily beyond the limitations set by our vulnerabilities? Perhaps we could overcome the disadvantages of social pressure, of self doubt, and even the constraints of our own physical bodies. Perhaps we could shed our fears of exclusion and inadequacy. What if our interpersonal relationships were not stifled by our internal fears?

What if we took the risk?

Embracing vulnerability means accepting a certain level of risk, of sacrificing personal security for the chance at something better than simply safety. There is grace in that. There is grace in finding peace with a purposeful surrender of oneself. There is beauty, grace, and a twinge of discomfort in taking that leap of faith.

My paintings teeter delicately between causing discomfort by means of distortion and inviting the viewer to appreciate the warmth of rich color or beauty of carefully executed details. Depicting this balance through the meeting of contrasting styles carefully respects the complex issue of confronting vulnerability by recognizing the fearful possibility of harm while celebrating the potential for transcending our fear.

The Importance of Beauty

Simply put, I want my thesis to be beautiful. I want people to want to look at it. I want people to enjoy looking at it. However, I do not want to make something that is beautiful for the sake of being beautiful. I want to make something meaningful that people will spend time looking at and thinking about because they enjoy the experience.

There is definitely something to be said for art that visually arrests the viewer, assaults the eyes, and draws out thought through emotional discomfort, but that it not what I want to do.

Thinking about Display: Part 2

While discussing things with Jason, he suggested a variety of ways to think about how to create distance and closeness with an audience. One suggestion I really liked was layering elements with varying degrees of clarity in order to let the audience experience certain elements on a more detailed level and others on a level of impression. If I took this approach, I wouldn't have to break my images into multiple panels; instead, they could be layered on top of one another. 

Thinking About Display

While contemplating the display of the paintings I will produce this year, I was thinking specifically about how a display can reflect what is going on in the actual artworks. I sketched this image to visualize my thinking.

If the paintings on the ends were more closed off imagery (less open to vulnerability), it would make sense not to allow the viewer to become intimate with the paintings by drawing near. By removing distance with the audience in the center, the viewers would be able to be be most intimate with that painting, but would also be forced to be more intimate with one another as they would be funneled into a smaller space.

I don't know if my display would employ a technique like this, but I definitely found the thought appealing, especially for my subject matter.

Exploration: Materials and Theme

This is a recent experimentation mixing used paper paint palettes and gold leaf. The leaf is used as an accent around the dried paint to frame or adorn it. My exploration in thinking here was using a "valuable" material to celebrate the mistakes and happy accidents of painting. Although usually invisible in finished paintings, the artist's palette shows the artist's thoughts, mistakes in mixing, wasted material, and even spills here and there. It's an unapologetic documentation of the process of painting, and to me it's beautiful. This exercise for me was about seeing beauty is something raw or imperfect.

At my advisor's suggestion, I have begun experimenting further with some abstract figures I invented for his Multilevel Figure Drawing course in the Spring of 2016. These forms are made from leftover palettes that have been cut out; arms, legs, and heads made with ink and carsick give the different creatures feeling and action.

This particular composition felt to me to me like a kind of formation of someone. Gestation is also a word that comes to mind as it is set in a shallow box that envelops it slightly in its curled up position. This is a relevant exploration of my theme of vulnerability because people often think of "formative" times in a person's life as the most delicate and arguable most important periods.

I also decided to try mixing in more naturalistic forms to see how the abstractions could interact with them. This composition seems to teeter between anxiousness and hope. Perhaps the abstracted figures could be representation of the man's psyche. Perhaps they are representations of how he sees others. This is a vague train of thought, but it relevant to my interest in using the human figure.

 Timeline: ?

This week we turned in a provisional timeline for the BFA projects. This was enlightening, but not in a good way. More than anything it showed me that I had no idea what this year looks like in the long term.

Basically, I need to find all the specific dates for elements of the BFA projects are due and compile them in a neat and logical manner and tape it to my wall. In my studio. In my room. I need to see it often and let it fuel my progress.

Vulnerability on Display

This image is a still from Marina Abramovic's performance The Artist is Present. In this piece, strangers would walk up to her table and take a seat across from her. The two people would then silently watch one another, examining one another. The photo above is a still of the moment during the performance when she is confronted unexpectedly with meeting a past lover.  Over and over I have heard people gush about how beautiful this particular moment is.

Why?  Why is it beautiful?  What is so wonderful or desirable in this moment that so many people find inspiring?  One might argue that it is how vulnerable they are with one another.

Both come to this moment knowing not knowing how the other will react. The stakes are especially high here because they risk this level of vulnerability in front of an audience. I think that people find beauty in this moment of vulnerability because it is a show of trust and of a deep connection that transcends distance and time. Despite their time apart, both find the strength and trust to non-verbally express their emotions in this moment.

For my own project, looking at this piece is inspirational because I want to talk about vulnerability as an ideal to strive for, something that makes us more equal by exposing our inner selves.

The Right Mindset

This post is not about my project; instead, it's about my mindset. Producing a BFA thesis project is a big deal. It will be a lot of work. It will result in long nights. It will not always go as planned.

Today, I lined up these progress images of my current painting project for Jason Lahr's Multilevel Painting course, and the comparison actually surprised me. In the early stages of this project, I lamented to my professor that I didn't know how to paint, that everything was trial and error. Now that sounds silly to my own ears. Of course I know how to paint; trial and error taught me how.

Slaying the Giant of Gender Inequality

Today I had a thought that helped me settle into what I believe will be the theme of my thesis. The thought was a result of reflecting on my personal relationships and my experiences studying art in Florence.

In Florence, my class spent a lot of time looking as depictions of David during the Renaissance. One that always really frustrated me was Donatello's bronze David. I wasn't bothered by anything about the artwork itself; what was frustrating was the sculpture's relationship with Donatello's bronze Judith and Holofernes. Originally the two statues stood together as equals in a garden in the Medici palace, sentinels of the triumph of goodness over tyranny, symbols of justice and virtue. Despite their original intention as equals in material, subject matter, and installation, a disparity in the status of the statues quickly grew. David was praised and celebrated, but Judith and Holofernes did not receive the same accolades. One of the reasons she was less celebrated was that people were uncomfortable with and politically opposed the image of a woman violently conquering a man.

Reflecting on this led me to thinking about vulnerability. The society of that time was uncomfortable with a power dynamic in which a man was vulnerable to a woman. I feel that in general comfort with vulnerability indicates greater security overall; a willingly vulnerable person will not feel the need to exert power over or dominate others. Even in my own life, I have found that my most healthy, balanced relationships have been with men who are willing to be vulnerable on the same level with me as I with them.

  

IMAGES:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_(Donatello)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judith_and_Holofernes_(Donatello)

Mind Map: Group Exercise

In class, we split into groups to do some brainstorming about our thesis ideas, harnessing others' thoughts to fuel our own process.

My thinking for my project was still at a very abstract level, and my map only reflects possibilities relevant to the use of gold, its meaning, and and other connection to the material, since the material is a particular point of interest for me after my experiences abroad.

I think I may want to use this material in combination with a theme that deals with the female experience. Much of my work in the past has dealt with the female experience in relation to other topics such as party culture, sexual assault, beauty ideals, and love.

Florence: Summer Abroad 2016

Simone Martini and Lippo Memmi's Annunciation painted in 1333
Currently on display in the Uffizi Gallery in Florence, Italy

http://www.uffizi.org/artworks/annunciation-by-simone-martini-and-lippo-memmi/

During my summer in Florence, I studied Renaissance Art History and Painting Conservation. The first took me around the city and surrounding towns examining original Renaissance artworks and architecture in person. In Conservation, I had the opportunity to learn the techniques used in the preservation and restoration of antique artworks; furthermore, I explored these techniques in a hands on environment, restoring antique artworks owned by the Italian state.

My practice panel showing the process of preparing a panel for gilding and painting in egg tempera

Although I initially went abroad thinking that my thesis would somehow address the female experience, particularly in regard to desirability and vulnerability, my experiences did not push my thinking to continue in that direction. Instead I was inspired by materials. What really took my breath away was the way Christian art leading into the Renaissance used gold. Adding to this interest for me was experience  of applying gold leaf firsthand. My peers quickly decided they abhorred the task for its tedium and challenge. For me, it was a challenge to rise to.

So, skipping many steps in explanation, I arrived at an idea for my thesis that was visually related to Gustav Klimt's The Kiss. I am imagining an image that uses gold to create an ephemeral space and respects the historically religious use of gold by indicating a spiritual experience.  By spiritual, I do not mean that my theme is religious. I am thinking instead of how being wholly vulnerable, giving oneself to another, is spiritual in that it transcends the self.

Although this is my current direction, much of my work deals with female identity and issues relating to party culture. That may yet be a direction I end up taking instead.